Fearful and Free. Frustrated and Feral. Fuck.

I’ve always been somewhat curious about space cadets. It’s a term used by the drug culture to describe one that has taken too many drugs and has gone insane. I stare into the disposable eyes of space cadets, empty and distant, often. The funny thing is, the scope of that definition is too small. What happens when you forget to take your drugs? What happens when you see the world, so greedy, so grimy, so desperate and cunning for what it is? The air is so thin now, there’s a crack in my helmet, slowly, gently killing me out in the vastness of the rest of the world.
Some one very important to me once said, “You want to be an astronaut, an astronaut goes up but always remembers to come back to earth….” But when you’re high most of your waking life, as it slips through the partially gripped, apathetic hand of a drug haze when do you come back to earth? Stuck in an orbit around a planet that does not recognize them anymore, a planet that they, themselves, don’t recognize anymore.
I fear that I have become stuck between the two worlds. Left to rot in the upper atmosphere at which point I’ll crash back down or get sucked even further out into space.
I just dont know anymore.
About my best friend
About the impostor of a friend I once knew
About an entire generation lost in space
and it scares me.

I’ve always been somewhat curious about space cadets. It’s a term used by the drug culture to describe one that has taken too many drugs and has gone insane. I stare into the disposable eyes of space cadets, empty and distant, often. The funny thing is, the scope of that definition is too small. What happens when you forget to take your drugs? What happens when you see the world, so greedy, so grimy, so desperate and cunning for what it is? The air is so thin now, there’s a crack in my helmet, slowly, gently killing me out in the vastness of the rest of the world.

Some one very important to me once said, “You want to be an astronaut, an astronaut goes up but always remembers to come back to earth….” But when you’re high most of your waking life, as it slips through the partially gripped, apathetic hand of a drug haze when do you come back to earth? Stuck in an orbit around a planet that does not recognize them anymore, a planet that they, themselves, don’t recognize anymore.

I fear that I have become stuck between the two worlds. Left to rot in the upper atmosphere at which point I’ll crash back down or get sucked even further out into space.

I just dont know anymore.

About my best friend

About the impostor of a friend I once knew

About an entire generation lost in space

and it scares me.

  • 19 March 2011
  • 6